He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
