who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
