so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
