we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize