it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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