thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
