he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
