You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
