This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
