He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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