we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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