Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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