ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i out mim tonsoeep
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