whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
