SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
