the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
