That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
