Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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