and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
