we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
