I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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