You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You work out of a Hotel?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
