If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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