Kiss
Puke
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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