so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
