Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
