I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize