I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
did you just send me my own nude
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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