I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
