i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No...this little piggys going to the bar
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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