idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
