Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Enjoy the penises
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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