someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize