I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
