sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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