you would pick up someone in the library
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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