I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize