Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
