I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Mom said you looked used
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
