Plan B is the new Plan A
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need a beard to bite.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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