Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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