she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
