Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
