You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Farmville is her only friend.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i believe in u and ur pee
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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