Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
FUCK WHALES
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
