Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
