i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i came on her dog
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
