why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
pop tarts are not kleenex
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
