what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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