Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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