In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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