Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
