Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
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