My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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