Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
