my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
