so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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