three words: i give head
three words: not that well
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
