He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize