my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
