No stitches, just platelets and will power
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You're like the curious george of whores
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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