it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
