How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize