"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
