Your tits are I can't wait for
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How naked do you want me to be?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
