it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
